No matter how hard you try, you’re never gonna see KStew looking back at you in the mirror.  It’s just gonna be you.  So buck up, Private, and stop wasting time hoping for something you’re not.  You’re not hideous.  But you are also not her.

How about that physics homework, eh?

Stranger: hi looking for girls with cute feet to send pics!
You: I’m an amputee. Do you discriminate?
Stranger: no
Stranger: if you still have the foot
Stranger: take a pic of fit
You: No, it’s my feet that were amputated.
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: you still have em in a doggy bag or something?
Stranger: take a pic
You: I tried make them let me take them home, but no luck.
You: Have you seen Nanalew’s feet?

Stranger: lookin for a female to tell me her wildest fantasy
You: To find Nanalew
You: Have you ever experienced that?
Stranger: no wat is it?
You: It’s a girl on here who’s trying to find me and vice versa
You: Tell her the mustang is coming
You: *neighs*

Stranger: Hello
You: Mammoth?!
Stranger: Yeah they died..
Stranger: long ago
You: No, there’s one left
You: And she’s on here.
Stranger: its only on tv

Stranger: kiremitleri sen mi kırdın lan
Stranger: it
You: Desole, je parle l’anglais seulement
Stranger: french chick
Stranger: ouw.
Stranger: fuck.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: RPattz?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: 19 m Finland, you?
You: RPattz?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: RPattz?
Stranger: The only thing gayer than asking me if I’m Robert Patterson is refering to him as “RPattz”.
You: P.S. It’s Pattinson*
Stranger: Exactly.

You: RPattz?
Stranger: mmmmm yummy.
You: I know right
Stranger: unfortunately i am not.
Stranger: seeing as i am..a girl.
You: Oh I know!
You: The RPattz I’m looking for is a nickname of my friend
You: Who is a girl
Stranger: oh!
Stranger: hahaha
You: Sanne. Have you connected with her?
Stranger: i assumed…robert pattinson
Stranger: no i have not
You: Yeah, that’s where it came from. She mimics him really well
Stranger: HAH
You: Well if you come across her, would you let her know that KStew is looking for her?
Stranger: KStew?
Stranger: what is that from
Stranger: and i sure will
You: It’s my codename
Stranger: where does it come from?
Stranger: like how did you come up with it
Stranger: any twilight celebrities hidden in it?
You: ;]
Stranger: wait
Stranger: isn’t her name like
Stranger: kristen steward??
Stranger: man i am BRILLIANT
Stranger: esp since i dont like twilight!!! ahaha
You: Props!
Stranger: thank you, thank you
Stranger: well i wish you luck in your search!

You: RPattz?
Stranger: If I sparkled I would kill myself
You: I’m guessing you aren’t Sanne then

Stranger: *points gun at your head* give me the money or you’re dead
You: RPattz?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

So I just got a pop up notification on Facebook from my friend:

Check your mail box. The one outside your house, not the technological one.

Inside was this beauty:

She’s been my best friend for nearly two years, but things have gotten rocky lately.  This really brightened me up :]

Mmmm, just finished the rough draft of my Columbia essay.  And by rough draft I mean the wording in about two sentences are bugging me, and once I sleep on it and reread tomorrow then I will be done, and I can send that bad boy off.  Applications are still eating me for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  I must be on special or something.  I have a busy schedule for tonight.  I know you want to know:

1. Shower – because I am currently a greaseball.  Like hair matting to face.  It’s great.
2. Read my econ chapter – just to get it out of the way as I want to dedicate the majority of tomorrow to…
3. Film USC video footage.

I’ll probably hit the sack after that one.  Because I’ll likely get frustrated and drained.  Still need to figure out how the heck I’m gonna approach the lighting.  Nothing like winging it.  And if you’re wondering whether you’ll ever see this, I’ll have to edit the thing [which is tomorrow's task] first before I make that decision.

So I briefly popped by Sanne’s blog, and I noticed the fantastic NaNoWriMo counter she has posted.  I also noticed how PATHETIC I am doing.  Sanne and I were supposed to have a race to 5k this Friday and well.  I haven’t written a single word since saving my first post.

I just have so MUCH I have to do.  Maybe I’m using all this stuff as an excuse.  But like for example, for NYU I have to talk about a New Yorker I want to eat lunch with or something.  And I’m drawing a blank.  Which is horrible because I am a NYC baby.  All I can think of it really obviously people like Holly Golightly.  And basically I’d just harp on her for what she did in the book version and ask if I can borrow her clothes from the movie version.  Or maybe I’d ask her for the number of her agent out in California.  Maybe he’d represent me.  Although I probably wouldn’t call him in the end because he was a real schmuck.

Also, I would like to take the time to declare how cliche I am.  And you know what, I’m beginning to accept that is just how I am.  I was going to take that a lot farther, but I got distracted by Blue Foundation and now I’m really sleepy.  Crap.  I think I might just go to sleep.  BUT I CAN’T.  CAUSE I HAVE TO DO ALL THIS STUFF.  SEE.  ARGH.

I’ll add the pictures I had for this post eventually.

I almost feel like I to pick up another cookie for writing that.  I really to like October.  It just feels like a part of me.  The cooler temperatures, the changing of the leaves.  My birthday.  October is mine.  It can be depressing and gloomy and light and breezy.

So this was my morning.  I’ve been watching A LOT of crime-solving shows.  Particularly Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and Criminal Minds.  USA and A&E like to run those things non-stop.  She I get home at three and watch the suckers until one in the morning.  Ridiculous.  Not gonna lie though, the writing at least for SVU is incredible.  Thus, due to my new affiliation for violent tv programs, I woke up a little before 1PM today.  It still for of feels like morning to me even though it’s only three.

The only things I’ve eaten all day are those cookies.  I haven’t done that much either.  I took some pictures and put them up on flickr.  Then the usual routine:  email – Facebook – Kristen updates via livejournal.  And the rest of my day is looking like applications for uni.  Will be so happy when those are done.  I’ve banned myself from emailing friends until I complete them.

Also I think I’m doing NaNoWriMo.  Which starts tomorrow.  Which I haven’t even the least bit of thought as to what my novel is gunna be about.  Lovely.  I failed last year.  But it was my first year.  See, what I really want to do is rewrite Breaking Dawn. But that breaks the rules.  You have to have original characters.  Gr.  Oh well.  I’m gonna do it anyway.

Cookie time!

[and by extension, merci à snoopified_art ]

Little Miss Sanne has inspired me to return to my WordPress.  I had a fleeting affair with Tumblr.  It’s a great site for quick posts and pictures, but didn’t feel right for lengthy ramblings.  Thus, je suis ici encore.

I’ve had a pretty relaxed Friday evening.  I was planning on going to the gym, but instead I filmed a video which has been in the recesses of my mind for quite a while.  I’ve left all the footage on my camera because I’m not ready to face the editing process.  I have this sinking feeling that I’m staring in the viewfinder the entire time or my lips aren’t gonna match up with the words.  I usually will pick up lyrics pretty quick, but for some reason I couldn’t get a solid hold on this Joan Jett song.  But my get-up made up for my lack in lipsyncage.  My reason for putting the video off was because I wanted leather pants.  I was thinking about buying some cheap off ebay, but at the same time, isn’t it kinda dumb to buy something you’re just going to wear for an hour to film.  Here is where I cursed the fact that I don’t have this huge resource of a costume wardrobe.  However, something led me to rummaging through the back of Mom’s closet, and low-and-behold, I found a pair of black beauties that had to be straight from the 70s.

So the hightop leather pants, a chunky belt, and a cropped off Union Jack top [and by "cropped off" I mean I was constantly having to keep it in check between takes because it liked to ride up and show the bottom of my bra -_-].  Oh and a little black eye shadow and a lotta hairspray for my teased hair.  I don’t feel bad about skipping out on the gym as much though because it’s probably been a month since I’ve worked on a project.  This’ll go up on my Vimeo account.  I’m putting my stuff there that uses copyrighted music — YouTube has beaten me into submission.

Something else noteworthy:  I picked out all the chocolate caramel bits in the tub of Turtle Tracks ice cream.  So the next person in this house that goes for some ice cream probably won’t be to happy with the now mutilated mess within that carton.  ._.

Tomorrow is the fall festival in my town.  I’m pretty sure that EVERY place I’ve lived in post-toddler years has had some kind of autumnal shin-dig.  That can’t be normal –  not all American towns have that, right?  Maybe they do and I just never realized it.  Hm.  I kinda have mixed feelings on it.  It’s my last year in this town so I am going, but I don’t really have anyone to go with.  Not necessarily a boy, but Amanda has to perform with showchoir, Shawna lives in Canada, Sanne’s in Chicago.  My friend Emily and I — not sure what’s going on there, but it feels kinda like we are prematurely growing apart.  I can already tell that as soon as we go away to uni we’ll never talk to each other again.  Which in one right is sad because we considered each other best friends, and sad in another right that I’m not completely devastated/devoting all my energy to figure out what’s happening between us.  Still, I’m good with the going alone thing too.  Walk around, seem aloof, munch on some crap carnival grub, and call it a day.  Weather-permitting, I’d like to just walk the two miles into town.

Sleepeh.  Night, blog.

I’m trying to get a grip on myself.  Il y a the possibility that I just got back from the best time/experience/trip of my life.  An airplane just flew over my house — this is not funny, God.  I’m being serious here.  They told us that this would probably happen.  That’d we’d get back and have reverse culture shock and feel alienated from everyone.

I can’t stop remembering.  The derniere nuit avec the dancing along the Seine.  The tango argentine, which is like sex with your clothes on.  I want to learn.  Being pulled to samba avec some chauve old guy.  Rebecca asking me if I wanted her to text Flo.  Mia.  I’m just chocked full of so much.

I wake up every morning wanting commencer parler en francais.  I just don’t know.  I’m in this effing limbo world.  I’m gonna go to the gym avec ma musique en anglais.  Parce que c’est pas interdit maintenant.  At 11h45 I’m getting my eye brows waxed.  Maybe that’ll give me a reality check.

This all was only wishful thinking

Hoping for the best, just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don’t ever tell me.
I know you well enough to know you never loved me.
Why can’t I feel anything from anyone other than you?
I know you well enough to know…

And all of this was all your fault
And all of this

Edit 10:52-