The moment.

2 11 2008

So, I’m driving home in the car, just thinking about all that went on tonight.  I went to a party.  And, Marion never parties, folks.  It was actually a “rave,” but I went, and well, I actually kind of enjoyed myself.  I mean, I came prepared to be Rory Gilmore season one with Into the Wild in my purse [except that I think she had The New Yorker] ready to be extracted at a moments notice.  But I never once thought about that book.  Or anything.  Not school work, not my college-oh-my-god-I’m-not-gonna-get-in stuff.  Nada.  I just danced A LOT.

It felt so good not to care.  I hate to break it to you, but I am NOT a good dancer.  Awkward as all get out.  I have about three moves:  the put-your-arms-kinda-half-bent-above-your-head-and-look-back-and-forth-at-each-armpit, the bouncy-shift-weight-from-foot-to-foot-corresponding-to-the-tempo, and finally the I-have-long-hair-so-I-am-entitled-to-toss-around.  Please note that said moves can be combined.  So, yeah, I am conscious that I probably looked very silly and that when hands were joined only my right one decided to suffer from palmar hyperhidrosis.  What was different was that I didn’t care.  I just went with it.

Tonight could definitely be that moment where I look back years later and say, “Well, I got my high school experience.”  In fact, I want to look back on tonight as that.  Honestly, this was the first time I felt connected to people at school.  The first time I felt like more than one person in my town gave a damn about me.  The first time I let YouTube me and me me converge.  I’m not going to say it was the happiest I’ve ever been, but with my town life, yeah.

And driving home, I’m thinking about all this.  And then “Why Does It Always Rain on Me?” comes on my iPod shuffle which sounds like a sad song, but it didn’t make me feel that way. I just start belting it out and pretending I’m Bella, which I haven’t done forever [since post-Breaking Dawn].  And I just start listening to the lyrics and making parallels with my life.

 

I cant sleep tonight – Okay, not that.  I will be out cold.
I get the strangest feeling you belong – mhm.  Strange, but I felt it.
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen? – random, I am a compulsive lier.  & a geezer
I cant stand myself – on occassion
I’m being held up by invisible men – “Invisible” I take to mean not real.  At one time, Edward.  Others shan’t be mentioned.

Oh, and one more thing.  I almost made it through the night without getting lost!  Almost.  Made a wrong turn on the way home.  [so close]

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8 responses

2 11 2008
Evan

Reminds me of when I went to one of my high school’s basketball games, homecoming, and the “Confetti” program the seniors put together at the end of every year. They were the only “school functions” I went to through all of my four years. Kind of makes me feel crappy now. I missed out on a lot.

Yay raves! Never went on one.

2 11 2008
owlssayhooot

You are such an awesome person, Marion.
I’m glad you had such a good night. You work it.
You’re such a better teenager than me. xD
Love youuu. ❤

P.S. skype call soon? I miss you.

2 11 2008
Andromeda

I’m creeping on you.

But yeah, last night was seriously the most fun I’ve had in ages too.
Don’t worry about the dancing thing. As long as you look like you’re having fun, people think you know what you’re doing. :]

2 11 2008
Amanda

Not going to lie, the last paragraph made no sense to me and I feel nuts and I made Rugelach! Are you saying you are a compulsive liar? Did somebody else write this for you, miss typo-pants?
I adore you! Haha so close to not getting lost at all! I’m proud ❤

2 11 2008
Amanda

Oh I get it! I adore you, pumpkinface.
Why are you a pumpkinface I shall never know.

3 11 2008
Melissa

Yay for higschool experiecnes and awkward dancing!!
😀

3 11 2008
Danny

😀

5 11 2008
BlakeAnthony

What band sings that song?
“why does it always rain on me”
Is it the band Travis?I like your blog.
:DD

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