One of those days

17 09 2010

I felt stupidly alone today.  Actually I just woke up this morning in a teeny bit of a funk.  And it wasn’t even because I woke up from a dream about people from my past or being in someplace in my life before college [see how I avoid the word “home” here?  The audience reels.  There must be something wrong with her home life, they cry!].  Usually when my dreams involve that I wake up a little ehh.  But no, I don’t remember quite what of, but I know this dream had to do with my life in California.  I think I was peeved because some conversation with someone was interrupted, and I wanted to know what he was going to say next.

But yes, wake up in a funk.  Stare down at the freshman fifteen.  Sigh.  Under 40 minutes to be at my first class.  Eat a brownie for breakfast. So good.  So bad.  Depressing lunch was depressing.  Only because that particular dining hall is so dreary.  Everyone’s cracking up that it got a B on the health inspection.  And today they only had paper plates and plastic cutlery.  I heard a rumor that their dishwasher was confiscated.

Then I didn’t speak up during class and felt like my professor was eyeing me to do so.  I always think of things after the fact.  Made myself feel better by sharing froyo, but killed it by also getting a raspberry tart afterwards.  And then there was the lecture I should have skipped and feeling like my closet friend here ditched me for dinner. It’s Thursday.  We were supposed to scope out the joint for Green Shirt Guy.  Green Shirt Guy is a project of mine, although it’s still in development.

Brownie, Kudos, cookie, approaching gummies.  I should probably just go to bed.  Don’t get me wrong, I love it here.  Today was just one of those days.  I liked reading this this morning though:

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place thing or situation-some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake… unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.”